There are some pieces of common, cultural wisdom that are so
often quoted and repeated that we fail to notice just how devastatingly stupid
they are. And I do mean devastating.
I heard an interview with a man the other day who was
describing a broken family situation. The interviewer asked him whether his
relationship with his son had improved recently. His response was something to
the effect of “I’m just trying to be patient. You know, time heals all wounds.”
Time heals all wounds.
Does it, though?
Think about the analogy. Does this idea in any way reflect
the reality of healing? As a child I busted my head open a few times. I fell
off a porch. I crashed in to a chain link fence on a tricycle (It involved
being a test case for two of my older brothers and them pulling me with a 20
foot rope down the sidewalk at top speed. The blood ruined my 1987 Twins World
Series Champion sweatshirt. But enough about that.) I was hit in the forehead
by a hammer that flew out of a rather burly friend’s hand. And not one time did
my mother or anyone else look at the blood running down my face and say “time
heals all wounds.”
No, they took me to a doctor. Without that care I would have
been at risk for infection. The wounds could have festered. And I likely would
have had three really ugly scars.
I don’t think it’s any different with emotional, relational,
spiritual or psychological wounds. Leave them alone and the blood loss will
significant, the possibility of infection is incredibly high, and the scars
will be dramatic. Wounds to the heart or emotions are even more likely than
physical wounds to spread and cause damage elsewhere. An untreated wound on my
head leaves a scar. An untreated wound in my heart mighty end up scarring
others.
The idea of leaving woundedness to time is only helpful if
it encourages patience, not if it leads to passivity. It takes action to care
for the hurts of the heart. It takes cleansing and binding. Often it takes
repeated efforts as the wound lingers. And it takes patience.
Time doesn’t heal all wounds. Time doesn’t have any power. Time
is just the space during which God can use the actions of people to heal wounds
from the outside while he works from the inside.
