Forgiveness is hard. To willingly
and willfully give up your claim on another person because of a wrong done by
them is trying.
One of the most famous and most
quoted passages on forgiveness is Matthew 18:21 & 22 where Peter asks if he
must forgive someone who sins against him even as much as seven times and Jesus
gives the famous response: “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times
seven.”
The obvious and correct
interpretation of this passage is that there must be immense forgiveness for
wrongs committed against us, many times more than our human nature is
comfortable with. We are to be rich in grace toward those who wrong us over and
over again and thus forgive them over and over again for their various offenses.
For, if we have been forgiven thousands of times over for our wrong doings by
Christ, how can we not also forgive others?
But there is a second
interpretation, complimentary to the first, which I think is also true and
equally as important. And that is this: we are to forgive the wrong doer
seventy times seven for the same single
sin against us.
When someone hurts us deeply it is
not as simple as to forgive them and be done with it. It’s not that simple
because the hurt runs deep and keeps hurting days, months, years after the
initial offense. It’s not that easy because certain words, places,
circumstances, or conversations remind us of the hurt over and over again. And
it’s not that simple because we’re sinners. When we forgive, it is eroded by
our own heart’s bitterness and undermined by our own self-righteousness. It is
forgotten in fits of self-pity or anger. Our forgiveness is not a finished or
eternal offering.
So we must forgive that single
person for that single hurt not just once, or seven times, but seventy times
seven. Every time we face those certain words, places, circumstances, or
conversations that bring the hurt back we must choose to forgive again.
This kind of forgiveness is, in my
experience, the hardest to do, and that’s because the kinds of offenses that
require it are the most hurtful. It’s one thing to forgive a brash,
loud-mouthed co-worker over and over again because they manage to be offensive
with every other sentence. It’s another thing entirely to forgive, daily, the
spouse or parent or friend who has undermined your credibility or betrayed your
trust. But it is good.
Seventy times seven means far more,
but never less, than forgive each time you are wronged. It means forgive
offenses to completion even if that means a daily, or even hourly, decision to
let the debt go.
Great post. Peacemaker Ministries has "Four Promises of Forgiveness" that help put people put this into action:
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2."I will not bring up this incident again and use it against you."
3."I will not talk to others about this incident."
4."I will not let this incident stand between us or hinder our personal relationship."
I think we've all experienced that one particular offense that we feel somehow crosses the line. We think we're doing good for forgiving the bulk of the junk people throw at us, so harboring unforgiveness for just one thing is OK. After all, we're just human, can we really forgive everyone? Not only can we, but we should. As hard as it is, we have to set the bar high here. We know it's possible because normal, sinful, human people like you and me do it every day. They forgive wicked acts that have been committed against them. Christ empowers us to forgive, and it's to our own detriment if we choose not to. Thanks for this post, we can never be encouraged enough in this area.
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