Quit Calling Your Wife Hot

I saw a tweet from a friend recently that said “If I hear one more Christian guy call his wife hot (every time he talks about her), I’m going to throw a plate at the wall.” I suggested that he actually throw the plate at the guy calling his wife hot, or “smokin’ hot” for that matter (tongue in cheek, of course). Maybe it would knock some sense and normalcy into them.

Fellas, calling your wife hot to other people is awkward. We can’t agree with you. That would be really weird. We can’t disagree with you. That would be really mean. Ignoring you is rude, but it’s probably our best option in this case. Do you really want us trying to determine if your wife is, in fact, hot? I’m glad you
think she’s a 10. You should. But calling attention to her hotness doesn’t honor her as much as it creates an opportunity for others to judge. And that’s just awkward.
It’s also subjective. You think your wife is hot. In fact, you think she’s the hottest. But what if other guys don’t? Do you really want to raise that issue? And what if they do? Do you really want to know, or to bring it to their minds? Your wife is your standard of beauty, or at least she should be. But every time you call her hot (which refers exclusively to physical beauty, unlike “beautiful” or “lovely” or “amazing”, all of which can encompass personality and character) you are making her a standard of beauty for others. You are talking about her objectively; that is to say, you are objectifying her. Bad idea.
It is a great thing to honor your wife publicly. It’s good for people to know your devotion to her and how much you love her. It’s good for people to know you are attracted only to her and want only her. But keep the hotness talk inside the walls of your home. That’s between you and her. Tell her she is smokin’ hot all you want. But don’t tell the rest of us because it does no good for anyone.

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Jun 14, 2016

I totally agree.

Jun 16, 2016

Lol! This was awesome. Well done.

Jul 05, 2016

Great points and the encouraging tone in which you wrote the post is refreshing and much appreciated!

Aug 09, 2016

Love, love, love it. So glad my husband of 38 yrs never refers to me as “oldie but hottie” (tongue in cheek of course) 🙂

There’s something sweet about a husband calling his wife lovely; but “hot” doesn’t sound right, publicly. You get the point across so straightforwardly and nicely!


Sep 09, 2016

I couldn’t disagree more!

It’s doubtful that many Christian men who call their wife ‘hot’ are really looking for approval and recognition from among those he says it to. Rather he is more than likely simply expressing a love and desire for his wife in an obviously subjective fashion.

He can say, ‘I love my wife so much!’, and we don’t have to love his wife or think about loving her in order to celebrate it. Likewise, we can rejoice with the husband who finds his wife ‘hot’ because that’s just a very good thing. We don’t have to think about his wife inappropriately or agree with him in order to feel happy that he feels that way about his wife. It isn’t, or at least shouldn’t, be private. The private aspect of sexuality is the vulnerability and revealing nature of what it points to, and he generally shouldn’t be revealing specific details about his sexual relationship with his wife.

I personally am happy when I hear a husband call his wife ‘hot’, because I see it as an expression of love.

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