Humor / August 21, 2014

The Randomest Ways People Find this Blog: 3rd Edition

People use the Google in some funny ways. Or maybe Google just messes with people. What follows are actual search terms people used which led them to this blog. I leave it to you to figure out whether these queries and the subsequent results are Google messing with the searchers or messing with me.

(All typos, misspellings, and other errors are reflective of the exact searches.)

1) Millennials don’t respect authority at work

It would seem some baby boomer doesn’t quite understand the google and wanted to inform it of his or her strong feelings about those whipper snappers. Well, sir or ma’am, have you considered that millennials might just not respect you?

2) wifehot

I am flattered. I am also fixin to do some face breaking on the fool who typed this.

3) little kindergarten girls swimwear

This is NOT a mommy blog. I repeat, this is NOT a mommy blog. And I’m not creepy either.

4) he pastors kid bernard piper

So close. So very, very close. Good hustle.

5) barnabas narcissistic

I included this mainly because I love the look of my name in print. It’s so . . . just wow!

6) pk’ s who hate god

Now Google is just being mean. Why would it assume that I hate God? That’s uncalled for.

7) the piper satan

I retract my previous statement. Now Google is being mean. I may be narcissistic, but I am no Satan. I mean, most arminians don’t even call the Pipers “satan”.

8) why pastors have only two kids

Because they have  very small quiver to fill? Because their wives thought pushing out two humans from their respective bodies was plenty? Because they felt like it? Probably because they felt like it.

9) the greedy are slaughtered

Well, if they’re dead can I have their stuff?

10) when you claim the promises of god out loud does satan flee?

No, that’s just what Frank Peretti taught in This Present Darkness.

11) how to start doing stuff

Probably by getting off Google and my blog.

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