Humor / October 29, 2014

The Randomest Ways People Find This Blog: 5th Edition

People use the Google in some funny ways. Or maybe Google just messes with people. What follows are actual search terms people used which led them to this blog. I leave it to you to figure out whether these queries and the subsequent results are Google messing with the searchers or messing with me.

(All typos, misspellings, and other errors are reflective of the exact searches.)

1) white people dont like their culture

My wife accuses me of this all the time. It must come through in my writing. But to be honest, who could love a culture that has produced Creed, Nickelback, Florida Georgia Line, Thomas Kinkade, Joel Osteen, and Cream of Wheat?

2) images of toting thoughts

I tend to tote my thoughts in what is commonly known as a “brain” and I would suggest the same for others.

3) is sarcasm a love language gary chapman

I’m sorry, but Gary Chapman can’t answer this, so you’ve come to the right place. YES IT IS!

4) how do you know if people don’t want to talk to you

You poor soul, if you’re asking google then it’s a good sign you’re way past the point of people not wanting to talk to you. You can usually tell by, well, people not talking to you.

5) how to not hate people when in ministry

Find another job. For everyone’s sake. Then learn how not to hate people there.

6) driscoll mark piper

I’m including this one just to get the feminist progressives all in a lather. All it takes to get them riled is to say one of these two names, so combining them should really ruffle some feathers!

7) young chubby girl

I have a feeling my 6th grade football coach put this one in since it’s what he used to call me.

8) talent delusion

Ouch. Just ouch. Maybe I should just retire.

9) portillos michigan

Oh, this made me so happy! Portillo’s is one of the greatest places on earth. But sadly for the searcher, it is not one of the greatest places in Michigan.

10 ) why do people shout and cheer at a football game but not at church?

“I don’t understand the question,” says the pentecostal.

11) barnabas piper wikipedia

That page does not exist, but there’s still time!




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2 Comments

Oct 29, 2014

#1 – butter and sugar will only fix one of these…


Oct 29, 2014

Being vehemently opposed to the use of “LOL” by anyone for any reason, I am stunned to discover that it is the best way to describe how I reacted as I read this post.



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