Blazing Center / Business / Humor / Marketing / January 27, 2017

How to Succeed as an Internet Entrepreneur

Do you want to make money from expertise you don’t have? Do you want to create a product with little value and sell it for a lot? Do you want easy money? Well, the interwebs provides just such an opportunity. Simply follow these easy steps to riches and ease and and an utterly seemed conscience.

  1. Decide you are a success despite a lack of any real success
  2. Declare yourself a success publicly.
  3. Use hashtags liberally.
  4. Quote people who are actually successful.
  5. “Borrow” some of their quotes and reword them as your own.
  6. Post carefully edited (or stock) images of your work environment featuring coffee, moleskins, and good lighting.
  7. Hashtag more.
  8. Offer to help aspiring successes with their wild dreams and big visions.
  9. Create instructions tell others how they too can be a success.
  10. Simply tweak the same instructions given by numerous hucksters who preceded you.
  11. Declare an exorbitant dollar value for your instructions.
  12. Sell them for an amount less than half of the declared value.
  13. Make money off suckers.
  14. When sales slow do not be discouraged.
  15. Declare yourself a success again.
  16. Remember that the internet provides an endless supply of suckers.
  17. Change format of instructions (print to pdf to video to live video and so forth) and sell them again.
  18. Remember the internet has a six second memory and no accountability.
  19. Repeat ad nauseum.
  20. Boom. Success.

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